I Prolonged the World’s Demise by Babysitting a Kaiju

I stuffed my textbooks into my bag and headed out of the classroom. My shift at KaiKool started in thirty minutes - just enough time to change and grab a quick snack before work.

The afternoon sun hit my face as I walked down the familiar route to the café. A line of yellow tape blocked off what used to be the Matsuda family's corner store. The government's black and white "CONTAINMENT ZONE" signs plastered the windows.

"Did you hear? They found another one this morning!"

Two middle school kids pressed their faces against the barrier, phones out and recording. Ever since the Daimen incident last year, these zones had become social media hot spots. Every few weeks, a new door would materialize somewhere random, like Sato-san's house, Mom's favorite conbini, even a public bathroom once. Then the kaiju would emerge.

The military usually handled it quickly enough these days. But the zones stayed sealed off, just in case more showed up. Made getting around town a pain when your usual shortcuts kept getting blocked.

I checked my phone. Twenty minutes until my shift. The new zone meant I'd have to take the long way around, past the park.

A helicopter buzzed overhead, probably another news crew trying to catch footage of the cordoned-off area. The whole kaiju thing had gotten old months ago, but people still couldn't get enough it seems.

I sidestepped a news van parked haphazardly across the sidewalk. A man in a pressed suit jumped out, microphone extended like a weapon.

"Miss! Did you see the kaiju? Any comments about this morning's incident?"

I kept walking.

"Please, just a quick statement for Channel 8 News!"

The reporter jogged alongside me, cameraman huffing behind with his equipment. I picked up my pace.

"As a local here, how do you feel about-"

"Late for work," I muttered, ducking around a telephone pole.

The reporter finally gave up, turning to harass an elderly couple instead. Their excited chatter faded as I rounded the corner.

KaiKool's storefront came into view. Someone had added new cardboard cutouts since yesterday. Badly drawn kaijus posed dramatically between the windows, speech bubbles promising "MONSTROUS DEALS!" and "KAIJU-SIZED PORTIONS!"

The whole thing looked like a kindergarten art project gone wrong. But the paycheck cleared every month, and that's what mattered.

I pushed through KaiKool's back entrance, swiping my card at the time clock. The familiar beep confirmed another day of minimum wage ahead.

The changing room door squeaked as I stepped inside. Yukina stood there half-dressed in her kaiju costume.

"Oh! Ryūka-chan! You're early today!"

"New blockade meant I had to leave earlier." I headed to my locker, fishing out the half-eaten melon bread I'd saved from lunch.

"Then did you see it? The new door? I heard it appeared right in old Matsuda-san's shop!" Yukina bounced on her toes, making the kaiju costume's tail swing wildly. "What kind of kaiju was it this time?"

"Didn't stick around to check." I unwrapped my bread, eyeing the ridiculous costume. My manager really outdid herself with these - cheap foam padding covered in felt scales, googly eyes bigger than soy sauce plates. "These things look dumber every time I see them."

"They're adorable! The kids love them." Yukina grabbed the tail piece and hugged it. "And speaking of... Since you're here early anyway, let me help you suit up!"

"My shift doesn't start for twenty minutes."

"Come on! I'll show you the secret to getting the tail to stay up properly."

I sighed, knowing resistance was futile. "Fine. Help me into the stupid costume."

"Yes! You won't regret this!" Yukina clapped her hands and dove into the storage closet, emerging with my assigned kaiju costume - a light brown kaiju with dark spikes.

As she helped me squeeze into the polyester monstrosity, Yukina rattled on about the latest customer complaints. I tuned her out, focusing instead on not suffocating in the synthetic fabric.

"And then I told him our Kaiju Burger was totally worth the price because-"

"Hey, I'm gonna eat outside real quick." I cut her off, grabbing my half-finished melon bread. "Need some fresh air before my shift starts."

"Oh! Let me join-"

"No! I mean, you should finish getting ready. I'll be back in ten."

I escaped through the back door before she could protest. The afternoon sun felt nice after the stuffy changing room. I plopped down on the concrete steps, careful not to wrinkle my tail.

Taking a bite of bread, I gazed at the massive containment zone looming in the distance. Unlike the smaller zones scattered around town, this one sprawled across several blocks, ringed by temporary fencing and military checkpoints. No wonder business was booming - nothing drew crowds like a large ass containment zone.

A soft squeak snapped me out of my thoughts. I blinked, looking down at my feet where the noise came from.

A tiny kaiju - and I mean tiny, it wasn't even the size of my head - stared up at me with unfocused eyes pointing in different directions. His rocky body swayed slightly as he kept his gaze fixed on my melon bread.

"No," I said flatly, turning away from it.

Another squeak.

I glanced back. He was still there, wobbling on stubby legs. Was it lost or something? The containment zone was fairly far from here, and I'd never seen a kaiju this small before. Most of them were busy destroying buildings or getting shot at by the military.

He made a sound that somehow managed to be both pitiful and annoying at the same time. His eyes seemed to drift even further apart as he slumped forward like a deflating balloon.

"Ugh, fine." I broke off a small piece of my bread and held it out. "Take it and go away."

The kaiju's eyes suddenly snapped forward and snatched the bread. He made happy squeaking noises as he stuffed the whole piece in his mouth, crumbs falling everywhere.

I checked my phone - five minutes until my shift. Better head back before Yukina starts another search party. Last time she'd gotten the entire staff involved for whatever reason.

"Well, that's it. Show's over." I brushed the crumbs off my costume and stood up.

The kaiju squeaked again, waddling closer to my feet. His eyes spun in different directions like broken compass needles.

"Nope. No more bread." I turned toward the door. "Go bother someone else."

A series of angry squeaks erupted behind me. I ignored them, reaching for the handle.

The concrete suddenly grew warm under my feet. Too warm. I looked down to find a perfect mini volcano forming right next to the back entrance.

"What the-"

BOOM!

The volcano exploded, shooting a stream of lava straight up that nearly singed my costume. I stumbled backward, falling on my padded tail as more mini volcanos popped up.

"Listen here, Little Shit!" I snapped, dodging another eruption. That's it - that's his new name now. Because that's exactly what he was.

"Look, I really don't have any more bread. See?" I turned my costume's pockets inside out.

Little Shit's eyes narrowed. He puffed up his rocky chest and let out a string of disbelieving squeaks.

"What, you think I'm lying? Why would I-"

A flash of movement caught my eye. Little Shit had darted forward, snatching something from where it had fallen during my stumble.

My employee ID card dangled from his mouth.

"Hey! Give that back!"

Little Shit's took off running straight toward the massive containment zone.

"Are you kidding me?" I watched him waddle away at surprising speed, my ID card flapping like a victory flag.

But I needed that card to clock out later. And to get paid. And to keep my job, which I definitely needed to escape this kaiju-infested town someday.

Cursing under my breath, I chased after him, my kaiju costume squeaking with each step. The tail kept smacking against my legs as I ran.

I chased Little Shit past rows of shops, earning strange looks from passersby. The kaiju costume wasn't helping - the hood kept sliding around, blocking my vision.

As we neared the containment zone, the crowd thinned out. The military barriers loomed ahead, warning signs plastered everywhere. Little Shit showed no signs of slowing down.

You there. In the peculiar brown attire.

I stumbled, nearly face-planting in my costume. That voice... had someone spoken? I glanced around, but the street was empty now.

I see my child has taken a liking to you.

The voice definitely wasn't coming from anywhere - it was inside my mind. This stupid costume was probably cooking my brain.

"Listen here you little-" I called out to Little Shit, who had stopped at the barrier's edge. It then disappeared over the top, leaving me alone with the voice.

Your identification badge seems important to you. Approach, and we shall negotiate its return.

Ughhh-

Would you consider a deal, human? One that could determine the fate of your world?

The voice went silent. Finally. Maybe my brain wasn't cooked after all?

The quiet barely lasted a second before the ground rumbled beneath my feet, tilting the concrete like a giant slide. My sneakers lost their grip, and I tumbled forward, the ridiculous costume making it impossible to stop myself. I rolled straight through the barrier and into the containment zone, landing face-first in a pile of ash.

Pushing myself up, I froze. All around me lay the charred remains of what used to be the shopping district - melted store signs, twisted metal, and the skeleton of a delivery truck, still smoking.

Do I frighten you, human?

The voice came again, but this time I could see it. A massive kaiju emerged from the shadows between buildings - easily twenty stories tall, with armor-like scales and glowing red eyes.

"Nah. I've dealt with worse customers during rush hour."

The kaiju's eyes narrowed, then his chest rumbled in what I could only guess was laughter.

Your species continues to surprise me. Most would have fled by now.

"Yeah, well, I need my ID back."

Wait.

"Where's the military?"

The kaiju's eyes gleamed. I cooked them all. The humans in metal boxes made excellent target practice for my volcanic abilities.

"So while you were busy barbequing Shibue's military unit, your kid just wandered off?" My voice came out steady, but my brain was screaming. Stay calm and maybe he won't decide to add a high school student to his menu.

The child grows restless easily. He sensed one of our kind and sought companionship.

"His kind? You mean this kaiju costume?" I tugged at the brown fabric. "Look, if he likes me as a friend, maybe he could show it by, I don't know, giving back my ID?"

That is precisely how he displays affection. By taking what interests him from those he likes.

"So what you're saying is... your kid's a kleptomaniac."

Your understanding is… incomplete. His behavior stems from a deeper evolutionary trait-

"That's nice and all, but can we skip to the part where I get my card back?"

You are... direct. Very well. I have a proposition for you, human.

"Of course you do."

I searched this dimension for a suitable caretaker but found none worthy. My plan was to drown this world in magma and seek another. But it seems my child has taken an interest in you. Therefore, I offer you a deal, human. Care for my child until his armor fully develops. One rotation of your planet around its star should suffice. In return, I will delay this world's destruction.

"And after that?"

Once his armor forms, my child will require a proper environment to thrive - one of magma and ash. Your world must be... renovated.

"So either way, Earth gets destroyed? Some deal."

You misunderstand. This is not a negotiation. It is a courtesy. My child's happiness buys your world one rotation, nothing more.

I raised my hand and gave my cheek a solid slap. The sound echoed through the empty street.

What... what are you doing?

"Trying to wake up. Because this can't be real." I slapped my other cheek for good measure. The sting felt pretty convincing though.

Is self-harm a common human response?

"Look, I don't know what kind of weird dream this is, but I need to get back to work." I rubbed my now sore cheeks. "So if you could just tell your kid to give back my ID-"

This is no dream. I'm offering you a simple arrangement.

"Ugh. Can't you just... raise him yourself? You know, like a normal parent?"

There are... complications.

"Such as...?"

Many seek to destroy me. The humans with their weapons. Other kaiju who view me as competition. Even entities from beyond your dimension hunt me. My child would be caught in the crossfire. He needs time to develop his armor in a safe environment, away from those who wish to harm us.

"And you think leaving him with a broke high school student is the solution?"

You underestimate your value. The child has chosen you.

"Hurray, I guess. But-"

The ground trembled as the kaiju leaned closer, his red eyes blazing. The alternative is I take the child with me now, and this world burns this very second.

"Ok, ok, but what's in it for me? Besides the whole 'world not ending' thing. Because I'm barely scraping by as it is, and your kid is just one more mouth to feed."

My child's presence will deter other kaiju from entering your territory. His volcanic abilities make him a formidable guardian.

I glanced down at Little Shit, who had somehow managed to get my ID card stuck in one of his nostrils.

"Right. Because your kid looks real threatening."

Do not underestimate his potential. Even in juvenile form, his mere scent marks you as under the protection of an S-grade kaiju.

Little Shit sneezed, shooting my ID card out like a projectile. He landed in a puddle of what I hoped was water. I stared at Little Shit as he went to play with my soaked ID card. Then something clicked in my head.

"Wait a second. S-grade? Like, officially recognized by the government?"

Correct. Your authorities classify us by threat level.

A crazy thought hit me.

"HEHEHE..."

Little Shit paused his antics to tilt his head at me.

I couldn't help myself. Does he realize what he's offering? Sure, Little Shit probably couldn't even fight off a housecat, but that didn't matter. What mattered was that S-grade kaiju stamp of approval. My mind was already calculating potential revenue streams.

Tokyo wouldn't just be a dream anymore. Maybe buy out that whole building my manager keeps bragging about. Move over, shitty part-time job. Mama's got a little money printer!

"HEHEHEHEHE!"

Your laughter is... concerning.

"Sorry, just thinking about... investment opportunities."

Then I did some quick math in my head. One year from now would be... March. A couple weeks after graduation. I'd have to figure out how to get around Gran Gran somehow… but that could wait.

Little Shit climbed up my leg and perched on my shoulder, his weight surprisingly manageable.

"You know what? That timing actually works perfectly. I'd get to see Tokyo before everything goes boom."

You accept these terms with remarkable ease.

"Hey, if the world's ending anyway, might as well."

Then we have an accord.

The ground beneath my feet started to glow red-hot. I stumbled backward but hit an invisible wall, with some kind of barrier had formed around us.

The kaiju reared up to his full height, his bulk blocking out what little sunlight filtered through the darkened sky. He opened his maw and released a deep, resonating sound that vibrated through my bones.

Circles of ancient symbols materialized in the air, spinning around us like a cosmic carousel. They pulsed with a dark crimson light that matched the kaiju's eyes. The heat grew more intense, and sweat poured down my face inside the stupid costume.

Little Shit jumped off my shoulder and started mimicking his parent's movements, though his baby roars came out more like high-pitched squeaks. The sight would have been adorable if I wasn't trapped in what felt like a pressure cooker.

The symbols suddenly burst into flames, forming a spiral that wrapped around my body. The fire didn't burn - instead, it sank into my skin, leaving behind intricate markings that glowed briefly before fading away.

The pact is sealed. You will care for my offspring until the next summer solstice. Should you fail in this duty, the markings will ignite and consume your flesh in eternal flames.

Wait, since when was spontaneous combustion part of the deal?

A distant whump-whump-whump cut through my thoughts. Military helicopters appeared over the buildings, their spotlights sweeping across the containment zone.

They arrive sooner than anticipated. Take my child and go. Now.

"What about you?" I asked, though I was already backing away. The helicopters' mounted guns glinted in the dim light.

I will keep them occupied. The ground will guide you.

The ground beneath my feet suddenly shifted and buckled. A wave of concrete and asphalt rose up like a giant hand, scooping Little Shit and me into the air. We shot backward through the streets as the military choppers opened fire on the kaiju.

Remember our agreement. One year.

Gunfire and explosions drowned out any response I might have made. The concrete wave deposited us roughly behind a bus stop several blocks away, then crumbled back into rubble.

More helicopters roared overhead, heading toward the containment zone. Little Shit squeaked and burrowed under my costume's hood.

Just another day in Shibue.

I snatched my ID card from Little Shit's mouth, wiping the drool off on my costume.

"You're lucky if this still scans," I muttered, shoving it into my pocket.

While I was at it, I pulled out my phone. The screen looked like a shattered mosaic - probably from when his parent decided to play earthquake simulator earlier.

"You've got to be kidding me." I pressed the power button and the cracked display flickered to life. 3:10 PM. Ten minutes late for my shift.

Crap crap crap. My manager was going to kill me. The thought of quitting crossed my mind, but Tokyo wasn't getting any cheaper.

"Come on," I groaned, breaking into an awkward run, with Little Shit scrambling after me. The costume squeaked with each step, the tail dragging behind like a broken rudder.

***

I dragged my feet toward KaiKool's back entrance, Little Shit still perched on my head. My hand froze on the door handle. What was I supposed to tell my manager? 'Sorry I'm late, a kaiju made me adopt its kid'?

Little Shit squeaked and pawed at my hair, mirroring my hesitation. I cracked the door open just enough to peek inside. The break room looked empty-

"OH MY GOD IT'S REAL!"

Yukina burst through the gap, nearly taking the door off its hinges. Her eyes locked onto Little Shit, who tilted his head at her.

"What's real?"

Instead of answering, Yukina whipped out her phone and shoved it in my face. On the screen was an EggTok video showing those two boys I'd passed earlier on my way here.

"Yo, check this out. Some crazy chick just went into a containment zone!" The taller one gestured wildly. The camera wobbled, focusing on a distant figure - me, standing in front of Little Shit's parent.

"Brooo that kaiju is gonna cook that chick." His baseball cap sporting friend said.

"Wait, hold up." Tall Guy squinted. "Are they... having a conversation?"

"Holy shit, dude, you might be right." The camera swung back to Baseball Cap's face. "Yo, get the EVP recorder! This is gonna make us go viral!"

There was rustling as they fumbled with something off-screen. Static then crackled through the speakers, then fragments of my conversation with the kaiju emerged:

"...deal..."

"...world's destruction..."

"...one year..."

Little Shit squeaked happily at hearing his parent's voice.

I snatched Yukina's phone, my thumb sliding across the screen. The video had 2.3 million views. The likes weren't far behind at 890K.

Well fuck.

The comment section was a nightmare scrolling by faster than I could read:

--That costume is from KaiKool! I ate there last week!

--plot twist: she's actually the kaiju's ex wife demanding child support

--Why is no one talking about the fact that the world is going to end in a year?

I clicked off the video and handed Yukina's phone back to her, head throbbing.

"Isn't this amazing? You're trending! Like, #KaijuGirl is the top hashtag right now! You're basically famous-"

"What are you two doing back here?"

We spun around to find our manager glaring at us, arms crossed. Her eyes didn't even flick to Little Shit, who was now chewing on one of the fins on my costume's tail.

"No one's manning the front. Get out there now."

"But Manager, haven't you seen the video? Ryūka's gone viral! She's-"

"I don't care if she's Japan's Prime Minister. Tables need serving."

Yukina's shoulders slumped as she tucked her phone away. "Fine. But this conversation isn't over!" She pointed at me before shuffling toward the dining area.

"And Tatsuhara? You're on dish duty after close for being late."

I watched Manager's back disappear through the door before slumping against the wall.

"Alright, buddy. Work time." I plucked him off and set him down on the break room chair. "Stay."

Little Shit tilted his head, one eye rolling up while the other focused somewhere past my left ear. I took a step toward the door.

He immediately hopped off the chair.

"No. Stay." I pointed firmly at the chair. He squeaked and waddled after me.

I picked him up again. "Listen, you can't follow me out there."

His tiny claws dug into my costume as I tried to put him down. When I finally pried him loose, he let out a pitiful whine.

"Fine." I yanked my hood up and held it open. "Get in."

Little Shit's eyes lit up and he scrambled onto my shoulder, burrowing into the hood. His tail stuck out awkwardly until he tucked it around himself like a scarf.

"Don't make a sound," I warned, heading for the dining area.

The moment I stepped through the door, a family of four walked in. I grabbed menus and led them to a table. Little Shit swayed with each step, his claws pricking my skin as he fought to stay balanced.

I plastered on my best customer service smile and forced myself to remember the mandatory welcome jingle.

"Welcome to KaiKool where kaiju rule! Our food's so good it makes kaiju drool! Stomp stomp chomp chomp, take a seat... uh... Something something sweet to eat!"

The parents exchanged concerned glances while their teenage son cringed so hard he nearly melted into his chair. Only their youngest, a girl around six, bounced excitedly in her seat.

"Mommy, Daddy! Look look!" She pointed at the TV mounted in the corner. "That girl! She's on TV!"

I turned to face the screen. The news channel logo flashed across the screen as footage of me facing the kaiju played on loop.

"...unprecedented communication between human and kaiju. Government officials have confirmed the authenticity of this recording, which appears to reference an impending global catastrophe..."

The TV cut to a cleaned-up version of that EggTok audio. My own voice, somewhat clearer this time:

"So either way, Earth gets destroyed? Some deal."

The kaiju's response rumbled through the speakers: "You misunderstand. This is not a negotiation. It is a courtesy."

Little Shit perked up again at his parent's voice, letting out an excited squeak. I quickly coughed to cover it up.

"Ugh. Today's special is our Gigan’s Claw Croissants. Comes with Godzillatte."

The family ordered two rounds of Mothra Melts and Gigan's Claw Croissants + Godzillatte combo, plus a Golza's Melon Head for their daughter. I scribbled it down, trying to ignore the whispers and phone cameras pointing my way.

"That's her, right? From the news."

"Do you think it's safe having her here?"

I kept my head down, now directing my focus onto balancing plates. For once, Little Shit was being suspiciously well-behaved. No squeaking, just quietly nestled in my hood. The calm before the storm, probably.

When the family's order was ready, I balanced the family's plates on my arms and made my way back to their table. The teenage son was still slumped in his chair, now scrolling through his phone. The little girl bounced in her seat as I approached.

"Here's your Godzillatte, Golza's Melon Head, and-"

Thump.

Little Shit had tumbled out, landing face-first next to the kid's Golza's Melon Head - our signature dessert shaped like a kaiju head.

Little Shit righted himself, shook his head, and fixed his eyes on the bread. With a happy squeak, he waddled over and took a massive bite.

"A REAL KAIJU!" The little girl shrieked, nearly knocking over the latte. "Can I pet it? Pwease pwease pwease?"

"No, wait-" I reached for the girl, but she was already leaning across the table, her tiny hand stretching toward Little Shit.

The moment her fingers brushed his rocky scales, Little Shit jerked back with a startled squeak. A business man at the next table yelped as his coffee cup erupted like a mini volcano, spraying hot liquid across his newspaper.

"I'll get you a new coffee!" I called out but froze when I heard a gentle rumbling sound. Little Shit had settled down, pressing against the little girl's palm as she stroked his head.

"He's so warm!" The girl giggled.

I spent the rest of my shift running damage control - comping the businessman's meal, mopping up coffee, serving more customers. Meanwhile, Little Shit stayed by the family's table, letting the girl feed him bits of bread while her brother secretly snapped photos. Their parents relaxed too, ordering more drinks and desserts while their daughter played with her new scaly friend.

As closing time approached, the family gathered their things. The mother hung back as her husband led their kids toward the door. She pulled out her wallet and pressed a stack of bills into my hand.

"This is for you. My daughter hasn't smiled like that since the Daimen Incident." She squeezed my hand. "Thank you."

I stared at the stack of bills she'd given me. This was more than I made in a month.

Tokyo might not be so far out of reach after all.

I dragged myself to the changing room after the last customer left. My bones ached from hours of wearing this bulky costume, and all I wanted was to peel it off and feel like a human again.

"Alright buddy, time for the costume to come off." I reached for the zipper at my neck.

Little Shit's claws dug into my scalp. A low growl rumbled from his throat.

"Come on, I can't wear this thing forever."

As soon as I started tugging at the zipper, Little Shit let out a screech that made my ears ring. His eyes spun wildly in different directions while tiny volcanoes erupted around my feet.

"Alright, alright! The costume stays on!" I quickly yanked the zipper back up, and just like that, the volcanoes vanished. Little Shit chirped happily and scampered back up to his usual spot on my head.

"Guess I'm sleeping in this tonight." I sighed and grabbed a sponge, heading toward the kitchen where dirty plates awaited. Of course, I had to work carefully, making sure not to disturb His Majesty's comfort.

~

I wiped the last plate and checked the time - 8:30 PM. The mountain of plates had finally been conquered, even if my back felt like it had aged thirty years in the process.

"Ready to go home?" I asked Little Shit, who had spent the past hour headbutting napkins to roll them up. Most looked like crumpled balls, but he seemed proud of them.

He chirped and hopped onto my shoulder as I grabbed my bag and headed for the exit. The night air felt good after being stuck in that muggy kitchen. As I locked up, a microphone suddenly thrust into my face.

"Ryūka Tatsuhara! KBCD News here. Can you tell us about your encounter with the S-grade kaiju?"

I stepped back, nearly dropping my keys. A reporter with slicked-back hair had materialized from behind a dumpster, cameraman in tow.

"Go away. Please." I turned and walked away.

"But Miss Tatsuhara, you're the only human to make contact with one of the two known S-grade kaijus! The public wants to know-"

I walked faster. The reporter matched my pace.

"Is it true you've been entrusted with its child? What are its powers?"

Little Shit trembled against my back, his tiny growl vibrating through my spine. The reporter's shoes squeaked on the pavement as he hustled to keep up.

"Just one statement-"

A tiny volcanic vent opened under the reporter's feet, shooting a burst of steam that sent him stumbling backward into his cameraman. His expensive-looking shoes smoldered.

"My Playboys!" He hopped around, patting out the wisps of smoke.

I reached back to pat Little Shit's head. "You know what? You can be pretty useful sometimes."

He preened at the praise, chest puffing out proudly as we left the news crew behind.

I continued down the familiar streets toward my apartment, Little Shit dozing on my head. After that reporter ambush, I just wanted to collapse into my futon and-

My bag hit the ground. Where the living room wall should have been was now just empty space, debris scattered across the street below. A massive door hung in mid-air next to the building, its edges crackling with that weird energy all Daimen had. The thing must have swung open like a wrecking ball, taking half our apartment with it.

And there, perched on the door like some gargoyle, was a kaiju. Fifteen stories of armored scales and spiny protrusions lined its back. Steam billowed from a cracked furnace embedded in its chest, dim orange light pulsing weakly inside. Its massive head swung low, eyes glowing just as faint as its chest.

Oh shit. Gran Gran.

"Gran Gran!" I broke into a run. "GRAN GRAN!"

Little Shit jolted awake with a squeak, clinging to my hair as I sprinted toward the wreckage. If anything happened to her-

"WHY YOU COME AND BREAK EVERYTHING? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH RENT IS THESE DAYS?"

I skidded to a stop. There was Gran Gran, standing on our partially collapsed balcony in her house slippers scolding the Furnace Kaiju - yeah, that name would work - like it was a neighborhood kid who'd kicked a ball through our window.

"YOU THINK INSURANCE PAY US? WHO GOING TO PAY?"

I scanned the wreckage, looking for a way up to our second-floor apartment. The stairs had been ripped clean off, leaving just twisted metal and chunks of concrete where they used to be.

"Gran Gran! Are you okay up there?" I cupped my hands around my mouth, shouting over the hiss of the Furnace Kaiju's steam vents.

"RYŪKA! YOU LATE AGAIN! AND WHAT IN HEAVENS ARE YOU WEARING?"

"Nevermind that Gran Gran! The stairs are gone. How am I supposed to get up?"

"EXCUSES, EXCUSES! IN MY DAY WE CLIMB MOUNTAIN BAREFOOT JUST TO GET TO SCHOOL! YOU YOUNG PEOPLE SO LAZY."

The Furnace Kaiju shifted uncomfortably, its massive claws scraping against our building's remaining structure. Gran Gran spun around and smacked its leg with her house slipper.

"YOU! STOP BREAKING THINGS! YOU THINK THIS YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE?"

Meanwhile, Little Shit hopped off my head and waddled toward the Furnace Kaiju. He squeaked up at the massive kaiju.

The Furnace Kaiju's chest furnace sputtered and dimmed. A deep rumble echoed through the night air as it lowered its head closer to Little Shit.

Little Shit bounced on his feet, squeaking faster and more insistently. The Furnace Kaiju grumbled back, its eyes flickering like dying lightbulbs.

"WHAT HAPPEN DOWN THERE?"

"No idea!"

Little Shit spun around to face me, then stood up on his hind legs. His arms stretched toward the Furnace Kaiju's chest, both unfocused eyes fixed on the cracked furnace.

"I think... I think he wants to get up there. Gran Gran, what should we do?"

"WHAT IN HEAVENS NAME IS THAT THING?" Gran Gran squinted down at Little Shit.

"He's the child of that S-grade kaiju. You know, from the news?"

"HAH? THIS CROSS-EYED POTATO GOING TO END THE WORLD?"

Little Shit deflated, his tiny shoulders slumping.

"Look what you did, Gran Gran. You hurt his feelings."

"PAH! WHAT KIND OF MONSTER CAN'T EVEN HANDLE A SCOLDING? USELESS!"

The Furnace Kaiju rumbled, steam jetting from its vents. Little Shit perked up and resumed his enthusiastic pointing at the beast's chest.

"Gran Gran, seriously - what should I do?"

"TOSS HIM!"

"Toss him? Into that thing's chest?" I stared at the cracked furnace.

Little Shit bounced impatiently, eyes still pointing at the furnace.

"WORRIED FOR WHAT, AH?" Gran Gran had a point. Little Shit seemed ready to launch himself up there if I didn't help.

"Fine." I scooped up Little Shit. "Ready?"

He headbutted my palm in response.

"Here goes nothing." I wound up like a baseball pitcher and launched Little Shit straight at the furnace.

The Furnace Kaiju's chest cavity opened like a massive iron gate. Little Shit disappeared inside with a metallic clang.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then the furnace roared to life, orange light spilling from every crack. Heat surged off the kaiju, making the air shimmer.

The Furnace Kaiju's eyes ignited like searchlights, head rearing back as spines glowed white-hot. A roar built in its throat - part dinosaur, part steam engine - before exploding into the night, followed by Little Shit jumping out from its chest. He landed on my head with a soft thump.

"YOU!" Gran Gran smacked the kaiju's leg again. "PEOPLE TRYING TO SLEEP! YOU WANT NEIGHBORHOOD AUNTIES TO COMPLAIN?"

The Furnace Kaiju ducked its head, its roar died down to an apologetic rumble. It then turned and took a step away from our building, its massive tail swinging dangerously close to the remaining walls.

"WHERE YOU RUNNING OFF TO? YOU BREAK HOUSE, YOU PAY!"

The kaiju paused mid-step, one foot hovering above the street. Steam hissed from its vents as it glanced back at us.

"DON'T STARE LIKE THAT! YOU THINK WALLS GROW ON TREES?" Gran Gran brandished her slipper again.

I watched the kaiju's movements, noticing how its joints had been stiff and sluggish before Little Shit jumped into its chest. Now with the furnace blazing, it seemed to move more smoothly.

"Gran Gran, I think it was just cold. It's still pretty chilly for April."

"COLD? COLD? YOU BREAK SOMEONE'S HOME BECAUSE YOU'RE COLD? EVER HEARD OF A KOTATSU? A SPACE HEATER?"

But the Furnace Kaiju was already moving away, its steps growing fainter with each one. Steam billowed from its chest, glowing brightly before it faded into the darkness.